Using the "Distress Tolerance" Skill
IMPROVE the Moment
Improving the moment is a skill that we can use even when we aren't in a crisis moment.
I use this skill when I am stressing over dinner not cooking fast enough, while I'm waiting in a long line at the grocery store, etc...
Here are the different ideas as to what this term is used for in DBT and how you can use it to help you:
I: Imagery
Create a situation or a scene that is different than the one you're in right now.
Envision your place that you'd like to be at that's safe, relaxing and beautiful (beach front, hollywood, casino, etc...). Focus on that place.
Imagine things going well. Things DO go better, and you CAN cope better. You CAN do better with the crisis in your life, if you practice feeling like you CAN take care of things.
M: Meaning
Find or create meaning in our difficult situations. You don't have to believe that there is a purpose to your suffering
P: Prayer
Prayer to a supreme being, God, higher power or your own wise mind
R: Relaxation
Finding ways to relax ourselves can help us feel better in a moment where we are stressed, hurt or angry. Different things can help you such as music, exercise, crafts, hobbies, deep breathing and comfort foods.
O: One thing in the moment
This is the same as the One Mindfully or Mindfullness skills. Focus on the one thing you are doing right now, in the present moment. This can help calm or settle yourself down. Typically, when we are in a moment of pain or suffrage, we tend to think back to a past event similar and project all of our fears and negative emotions from then into the now. Try to stay in the here and now.
V: Vacation
Too many times in life, we are stressed, tired, and over worked. When we are, we often think or say, "I need a vacation". Then we think a moment and realize (most of us anyways) that we can't physically or financially do that right now. However, we can do something and give ourselves that little break. A staycation as many have coined it recently. How? By doing simple things and choosing to stop stressing, thinking, worrying, etc...and do something for ourselves. It's a simple "cat" nap or a brief stretch and walk. But, there are 2 rules so you don't end up creating another crisis down the road:
1. If it will harm you, don't take a vacation. For example, you have a huge project due and others are counting on you to do your part but your vacation inhibits your ability to do that.
2. Don't make it too long. Remember, KISS (Keep It Super Simple). Don't say you're going to the mall and meet up with your friends and keep making excuses to rationalize your staying all day. Basically, use moderation.
E: Encouragement
Talk to yourself with self affirmations and positive statements such as, "I can move up", "I can finish this project", "I can do it", etc.... Usually, we only see, think or hear negative things during a crisis moment. We end up doubting ourselves which makes the crisis situation worse in the long run. Also, no half way statements either! You have made it this far and I know you know that you can achieve anything you want to if you just keep trying and practicing. You know the old saying....."Practice makes perfect"!
IMPROVE the Moment
Improving the moment is a skill that we can use even when we aren't in a crisis moment.
I use this skill when I am stressing over dinner not cooking fast enough, while I'm waiting in a long line at the grocery store, etc...
Here are the different ideas as to what this term is used for in DBT and how you can use it to help you:
I: Imagery
Create a situation or a scene that is different than the one you're in right now.
Envision your place that you'd like to be at that's safe, relaxing and beautiful (beach front, hollywood, casino, etc...). Focus on that place.
Imagine things going well. Things DO go better, and you CAN cope better. You CAN do better with the crisis in your life, if you practice feeling like you CAN take care of things.
M: Meaning
Find or create meaning in our difficult situations. You don't have to believe that there is a purpose to your suffering
P: Prayer
Prayer to a supreme being, God, higher power or your own wise mind
R: Relaxation
Finding ways to relax ourselves can help us feel better in a moment where we are stressed, hurt or angry. Different things can help you such as music, exercise, crafts, hobbies, deep breathing and comfort foods.
O: One thing in the moment
This is the same as the One Mindfully or Mindfullness skills. Focus on the one thing you are doing right now, in the present moment. This can help calm or settle yourself down. Typically, when we are in a moment of pain or suffrage, we tend to think back to a past event similar and project all of our fears and negative emotions from then into the now. Try to stay in the here and now.
V: Vacation
Too many times in life, we are stressed, tired, and over worked. When we are, we often think or say, "I need a vacation". Then we think a moment and realize (most of us anyways) that we can't physically or financially do that right now. However, we can do something and give ourselves that little break. A staycation as many have coined it recently. How? By doing simple things and choosing to stop stressing, thinking, worrying, etc...and do something for ourselves. It's a simple "cat" nap or a brief stretch and walk. But, there are 2 rules so you don't end up creating another crisis down the road:
1. If it will harm you, don't take a vacation. For example, you have a huge project due and others are counting on you to do your part but your vacation inhibits your ability to do that.
2. Don't make it too long. Remember, KISS (Keep It Super Simple). Don't say you're going to the mall and meet up with your friends and keep making excuses to rationalize your staying all day. Basically, use moderation.
E: Encouragement
Talk to yourself with self affirmations and positive statements such as, "I can move up", "I can finish this project", "I can do it", etc.... Usually, we only see, think or hear negative things during a crisis moment. We end up doubting ourselves which makes the crisis situation worse in the long run. Also, no half way statements either! You have made it this far and I know you know that you can achieve anything you want to if you just keep trying and practicing. You know the old saying....."Practice makes perfect"!