Using the "Distress Tolerance" Skill
Pros & Cons
For DBT standards, pros & cons is looking at the situation from the tolerating and not tolerating crisis view point.
This helps you look at the consequences of various potential actions. Remember, ever action has an equal or greater reaction.
For example, my mother-in-law hit me in the arm one day. She wasn't trying to hurt me but it "triggered" a bad and emotional memory and response that had the reaction of my not handling the situation appropriately and throwing it out of proportion.
In this moment, I could have chosen to tolerate the stress. I could have excused myself to gather my composure, I could have told her that it bothered me and not do it again, I could have even distracted myself by playing with their 100 pound black lab named Molly.
On the other hand, I could have chosen not to tolerate the stress by yelling at her, walking out in a fit of rage, I could have gotten home and destroyed things in the moment of negative stress.
At that point, you want to think about the pros and cons of tolerating and not tolerating the distress each. The pros of my tolerating it definitely outweighted the pros of not tolerating it. The end result was that I still have a good relationship with my mother-in-law. Had I gone the other route, our relationship would be strained and not so pleasant for a while.
It's always best to practice this goal in a less intense situation. For example, I want to throw out all my clothes because I feel I'm too fa. While that sounds silly, it's a great example for me to use to practice writing my pros and cons of that situation.
Pros & Cons
For DBT standards, pros & cons is looking at the situation from the tolerating and not tolerating crisis view point.
This helps you look at the consequences of various potential actions. Remember, ever action has an equal or greater reaction.
For example, my mother-in-law hit me in the arm one day. She wasn't trying to hurt me but it "triggered" a bad and emotional memory and response that had the reaction of my not handling the situation appropriately and throwing it out of proportion.
In this moment, I could have chosen to tolerate the stress. I could have excused myself to gather my composure, I could have told her that it bothered me and not do it again, I could have even distracted myself by playing with their 100 pound black lab named Molly.
On the other hand, I could have chosen not to tolerate the stress by yelling at her, walking out in a fit of rage, I could have gotten home and destroyed things in the moment of negative stress.
At that point, you want to think about the pros and cons of tolerating and not tolerating the distress each. The pros of my tolerating it definitely outweighted the pros of not tolerating it. The end result was that I still have a good relationship with my mother-in-law. Had I gone the other route, our relationship would be strained and not so pleasant for a while.
It's always best to practice this goal in a less intense situation. For example, I want to throw out all my clothes because I feel I'm too fa. While that sounds silly, it's a great example for me to use to practice writing my pros and cons of that situation.